Monday, July 31, 2006

View From A Mudhole

So we were awakened from our nap by a Hellacious Thunderstorm...

The rain was coming down as hard as I've ever seen it. Kate and I, being alone for the week with Ruthie et al out of town, decided to take the mature, respectable, intelligent course.

We seized the day.

Out into a driving downpour, clad in our underwear, squealing like a pair of six year olds, we bolted out the back door and reveled in the deluge from the blackened sky. It was delicious and magnificent. We spread our arms and raised our faces, and nearly drowned in the warm flood. It was strangely serene, in its odd little way.

At least until I got whacked across the back with a huge wad of mud, that is. I spun around to see my dear love Kate, bent over and grabbing another pair of fists full of mud, preparing for a second volley.

I don't take such things lying down.

I did the only thing I could. I charged. She got me again, but I got her better. She was on her butt before she could even think about shot number three.

Then I did the single dumbest thing I could have. I attempted to swan dive on top of her, with the intent of rubbing her face in the mud.

I guess I forgot about that whole Marine Corps thing. I did manage to hook my finger in her bra strap. Which broke. It was an accident, I swear. And it was just the clasp on the shoulder strap, it's not like I broke the actual bra.

In a fit of faux rage Kate, who is apparently called corporal for more than just military reasons, thought I should corrected. I thought otherwise, and things sort of got slippery, and muddy, and really really fun. By the time the rain began to let up, we were exhausted and covered from head to toe in nothing but the back yard. And we had at some point aquired an audience consisting of the neighbor couple who just moved in next door a few weeks ago. I guess they heard all the ruckus and decided to peek over the fence to see what was up. Whoops.

Well not whoops too bad. The lady asked if it was a private party, or if anyone could join in. Kate, without missing a beat, yells "you're overdressed", so the lady started to correct this little deficiency. I like her already. Her husband/boyfriend stopped her, though. She did everything she could to talk her "man" into hopping into the mudhole with us. He apparently has a problem with naked, muddy girls, I guess. He wouldn't do it, and I think she's mad at him. He's a poop. It's not like we were having sex. It was just naked mud wrestling. Good clean fun, you might say.

Anyways, we're back in, and showered again, and back in clean underwear.

If you're ever awakened from a nap by a thunderstorm on a hot summer day, take my advice. Be young. Be fun.

Seize the day.

15 Eloquent Orations:

On 8/01/2006 05:59:00 AM, Blogger Lifewish waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

OK, now you're blatantly just winding us up.

Not that anyone cares - it's great entertainment :)


On 8/01/2006 06:58:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Oh, it was FUN! It wasn't sexual. There's no way I would even kiss someone in that condition.

Mud in my teeth, mud up my nose, mud... everywhere.

If that winds you up, you're a dirty man.


Big muddy kisses for you, lifewish,


On 8/01/2006 07:20:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

I'm with Lifewish.

I was definitely "wound up".



On 8/01/2006 07:21:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

You are ALWAYS "wound up".

Big Muddy Kisses for you, too.


On 8/01/2006 07:29:00 AM, Blogger Lifewish waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

If that winds you up, you're a dirty man.

I prefer the term "red-blooded male". And 21 is not old, dammit, no matter what my little sister keeps telling me...

Anyway, as far as dirtiness is concerned, precisely who is it who's covered with mud here? Hmm? :)


On 8/01/2006 07:40:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Well nobody's covered in mud at the moment, but with all the afternoon thundershowers we've been getting, stick around. That's likely to change.

For now, Kate and I are getting in the shower. Naked. Together.

Now if THAT "winds you up", I'm guessing you're pretty normal.

See you in a little bit.

Dream a little dream of us.

In the shower. Naked. Together.




On 8/01/2006 08:26:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Well here's the way to start the day.

We're barely out of the shower, still dripping, and the phone rings.

It's Mom. She's doing her very best to keep from having a fit of hysterical laughter. She's mostly successful, but just barely.

Apparently, Aunt Mary is having a conniption about the mudhole incident. In the background, I can hear her nearly having a heart attack trying to get Mom to give her the phone.

Mom's trying to talk to me, but at the same time trying to calm Aunt Mary. "I said I'd talk to them!" kinda thing.

For those of you who came late to the party, The comments to this thread may enlighten you to Aunt Mary's way of thinking.

I love her, but we have different outlooks on life. Sometimes she's less than enthusiastic about the things I tell the whole world.

You guessed it. She's terribly upset over this post. Actually, she's upset over the events in question. She's positively flustered over the post about it.

Some choice vocabulary passed on by my Mom and/or heard in the background...

Trollops (I didn't know that word was still around)
Naked (ok, it's not the word that was funny, it was the tone.)
Public display (we were in OUR OWN BACK YARD! WITH A FENCE!)
Did I say "trollops"? Aunt Mary really likes that word, apparently.

I should have recorded it. There was a ton more.

Dear Aunt Mary,

It's OK. Everybody is naked under their clothes. And with all the mud, I doubt it made much difference. I own bikinis that cover less.

Please just be happy for me.



On 8/01/2006 08:52:00 AM, Blogger Lifewish waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

No harm, no foul. What's the big worry?

Used to be that naked mud-wrestling, to pick a completely random example, was considered a mortal offence. Nowadays, it's attempting to force your own prejudices and hangups on others that's considered impolite. Understandably, some people have trouble adjusting.

By the time we get old, it'll probably all have changed again. Now there's a scary thought...


On 8/01/2006 09:15:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Aunt Mary really is sweet. And I'm thrilled that she reads my blog.

In fact, I've tried to encourage her to comment, but she won't.

She's from a different generation, and things have changed a bit more than she cares for, I think.

It IS funny to note, however, that she doesn't seem to be upset at all that I'm sleeping with a woman. She's upset that I'm telling everybody about it. That's progress of a sort, I suppose.

I hope that when I have children of my own, I'll be as understanding as my Mom. It's kind of odd that the generation that's so prudish now is the same generation who spent their time at protests and "love ins".

It ain't like my generation invented the nude beach. And "personal massage" implements predate me by a good bit. Stranger In A Strange Land, Lolita, To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time, and Song of Solomon were all written by people who were dead long before I was a twinkle in my Daddy's eye.

Look at Hugh Heffner. That guy's like a billion years old. He's been living with a couple hundred hot naked chicks since like the dawn of time. And he certainly doesn't keep his sex life to himself.

"There is nothing new under the sun."



On 8/01/2006 09:17:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Oh, and I can't believe I forgot to mention SAPPHO!

That's going back a few years, too.


On 8/01/2006 11:32:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Ha! I guess I couldn't avoid it forever.

I just got off the phone with Aunt Mary herself...

She had some interesting thoughts on the mudhole incident... and my aforementioned bikinis... and Mr. Heffner... and Lolita

I promised I wouldn't share them, though.

Not to embarrass my dear Aunt, who I really do love, but exactly how does she know anything about Nabokov's Lolita? Perhaps not all is as it appears with her.




On 8/01/2006 07:15:00 PM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Ok, what the hell is a totalfark, and why am I being deluged by hits from there?

Not that I mind the traffic, I don't.

It sounds a bit shady, though.

Any ideas?



On 8/01/2006 11:35:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

TotalFark is a wonderful thing, filled with glorious links to the hidden gems of the net, including your lovely blog.

You should come join us. It's delightful fun! Cheers!

kisses for members

Thank you for the traffic, members! - Kisses from JanieBelle and Corporal Kate


On 8/01/2006 11:53:00 PM, Blogger RogueHistorian waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

It looks like totalfark is a constantly updating website for odd links and weird news. It's a branch off from As people in the Fark community find interesting/odd things and posts on the web, they submit to Fark and if they mods approve, it gets posted. How exactly they got ahold of your posts . . . couldn't tell you beyond someone told them.

It had some early connection to some people in England so it's possible one of your contacts there passed it on, I suppose.


On 8/02/2006 12:29:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Hello anonymous TotalFark person!

I'll have to make a point of dropping by and checking out your site tomorrow. Thank you for the referrals. It was very kind of you to notice my blog, and very generous of you to send me the traffic.

Hi RH!

Thanks for that. I've been up a little later than I felt like this evening, hoping one of them would post a comment. I'm glad one of the kind folks over there did. I really do appreciate any traffic I get.

I've been watching the blog-o-meter, and the person who just commented anonymously before you is actually a regular reader here, although that's his/her first comment. It's an unusual ISP, so I always notice it when it shows up in the stats.

I feel a little better about it, now.

I'm kinda tired, so I'll just leave a little note here for Kate, and ask her to post a big thank you to in the morning.



Post a Comment

Oratory is now open to everyone. PLEASE don't make me moderate it. Also, be kind enough to sign your orations.