Friday, September 22, 2006

As If The Parallels Weren't Striking Enough

Between my Human v. Fetus thread and the AFDave Thread at AtBC...

EricMurphy makes this comment late last evening on page 201...
This is what I love about Dave's religion:

Quote (afdave @ Sep. 20 2006,21:52)
I am sorry that you don't like "my" Jesus. You will bow before Him someday whether you like Him or not. I'm simply here to warn you before it's too late.

I always thought Jesus was "the Truth, the Light, and the Way." Evidently not. Jesus, in Dave's constipated little universe, is a fascist jerk who demands obeisance and worship like some sort of infantile, insecure little tyrant. Just like Dave's god: he so desperately wants approval from his slaves that he'll wipe them all out if he doesn't get it.

Dave, your religion fills me with revulsion.

Compare that to this from yesterday on here on the HvF thread:

Ehh.. nevermind... just compare it to the whole damned thread!

One especially funny note is that during the conversation, I brought up "Judge not, that ye be not judged...etc. etc. etc" from Matthew chaper 7.

Here is his ridiculous verbal tapdance of ineptitude:
When Jesus said not to judge, he wasn't saying to be naive and assume the best about all people and to throw out good judgment.

He was addressing the intentions of our hearts. Anyone who says, "You're wrong. You're going to hell. And I'm glad." Jesus was warning people about that attitude. That doesn't mean that we are not supposed to warn people about hell. It doesn't mean that we aren't to confront sin. It means that the intentions of our hearts need to be love for God and love for our neighbors.

From context it is clear that He wasn't saying that we shouldn't ever confront/instruct/correct anyone. It is all about the heart.

And yet, after all that semantic shell game, less than 12 hours later in the thread he says:
Angry yet?

The Lord laughs at you. He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble. He laughs at you. You are ridiculous. The depth of your foolishness actually causes God to laugh for a moment, because it is ironic for someone so ridiculous to actually take themselves seriously.

And if you don't repent, you will be punished. Hell is a reality. Deny it all you want, but you will remember these words in eternity.

May God have mercy on your soul.

You know, I honestly didn't start that thread to bait the nutjob into displaying his Coat of Many Absurdities, I really wanted to explore the issue of when we should draw the line between a fetus and a person. Even when he began waving his bible about, I only asked that if he was going to use the bible as a basis for his argument, then he first needed to show that the bible had some sort of relevence in the real world.

He clumsily avoided discussing the issue futher than a circular argument of one unfounded assertion backs up another unfounded assertion:
The Bible speaks and backs up its own authority. Furthermore, the Holy Spirit confirms it. And the Bible confirms the Holy Spirit. Both are real and back one another up.

I roughly paraphrased this sort of circular reasoning as:
"The bible is True, because it says it's True, and we know that's True, because the bible is True."

It's a fairly common strategy amongst the fundies, and it's almost universal that they either cannot or will not see the circularity.

Alas, he either realized that the task was an impossible one, or he's just so brainwashed that there aren't any neurons left capable of connecting to the real world.

If it's the first case, he's a liar and a fraud, desperately trying to shield himself with the burning remnants that hid the man behind the curtain.

If it's the second (and this is my guess), he's in desperate need of immediate psychological intervention. Is there a doctor in the house?

I swear this guy must be AFDave's twin brother.

14 Eloquent Orations:

On 9/22/2006 06:19:00 AM, Blogger blipey waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Always my favorite perk of UDoJ! People say things, and you record them. Kind of beautiful isn't it? And just because it's funny also, doesn't mean we have to be ashamed.

Go thou and have a good time, learn were thou will'st, and havest thee a right decent belly laugh, instruct were necessarily, but be not overly mocking--savest that for when thee are alone with others who findest the jokest funniest. These are the instructions of the lordest.


On 9/22/2006 06:53:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...


How's the ankle/foot? I've been keeping tabs on your progress, and it sounds like other than the gimpy appendage and the bathroom where you have to stand on the toilet to close the door, you're having a good time yourself!

"...but be not overly mocking--savest that for when thee are alone with others who findest the jokest funniest."

OK, I may have violated this particular portion of the commandment in the Book of Blipey, but fundies and bald-faced theocrats are easy targets. For that, I must ask the forgiveness of the FSM. Should I kneel before the high priest and make my confession?



On 9/22/2006 06:55:00 AM, Blogger Corporal Kate waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

OOOO. Sounds like communion and baptism may be involved...



On 9/22/2006 11:08:00 AM, Anonymous Arden Chatfield waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

"Well, you see, when Jesus said 'Judge not, lest ye be judged', he didn't mean the stuff I do. I can judge all I like and it's cool."

I've always been appalled at how little attention the Fundies pay to the Sermon on the Mount, when it has the best qualification to be something Jesus actually said. Instead they spend all their time on Hebrew Creation myths, ergot-induced rantings against Emperor Nero, Paul's cranky misogyny, and fag bashing. Yawn.


On 9/22/2006 11:35:00 AM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Agreed, Arden.

And it's also one of the things attributed to him that actually might be worth saying (at least the better part of the Beatitudes, anyway.)

"And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him: And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Matthew 5:1-12"

I'm pretty much all good with the Beatitudes right up until the last two. Even the last two are words of comfort.

It's almost all peace, love, joy and togetherness hippy talk.

Notice there's no crap about making war, or killing abortion doctors.

And I don't see anything about "Blessed are the Contagion of Stupid who are persecuted for being assholes, for they shall rule the earth and dominate governments and treat women like shit."

Maybe ClouserBot can enlighten us as to whether that was only in the Original Hebrew version.

One thing the ol' J.C. missed that he should have put in there...

"Blessed are the naked party girls doing it out back on the picnic table."

He really should have put that in there.


On 9/22/2006 03:21:00 PM, Blogger Kristine waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

If you can stand some real theology, here goes (the guy who condemned you is in deep doo-doo really baaad...)

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For by the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured against you."

In udder words, that bovine of a Christian would, were there to be a God, be judged by the standards he would apply to you. And it would surprise the dork to learn that he's found wanting.

But enough. I've gotten into theology way more than I've wanted to lately. Though I think it was gratifying to see somebody be a little taken aback that I wasn't raised by wolves or something, completely ignerint o'da Bible.

I had the kind of childhood indoctrination that Dembski probably wishes he had. Poor cluck!


On 9/22/2006 04:27:00 PM, Blogger blipey waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...


You weren't raised by wolves!!! Jesus Riding Bikes!!! I must now concoct some other completely arbitrary back-story for you...and I was going to try and use the weekend for something productive! Damn.


On 9/22/2006 04:40:00 PM, Blogger Kristine waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

I'm sorry blipey, I meant someone else--sometimes when you’re an atheist as I am, you get certain fundamentalists assuming that you just haven’t read the Bible yet. ("Read Revelation." I had to read it! Over and over and over! Bwahh-hha-hha, I can’t stand Revelation, make it go away!)

I’m intrigued by whatever evo-myth you come up with…


On 9/22/2006 04:41:00 PM, Blogger Kristine waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Hint: I was raised by squid.


On 9/22/2006 06:54:00 PM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Are you sure they were squid and not Trans-gender Purple Octopus Aliens?

I like Trans-gender Purple Octopus Aliens.


On 9/22/2006 09:12:00 PM, Blogger blipey waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Ooooh squid! Very nice. Look soon for the upcoming "2 Birds" post by blipey. It will combine the long overdue literature post and the origins of Kristine the Squid Goddess. Sure to be a page turner (or burner, can't really remember).


On 9/23/2006 05:39:00 AM, Blogger Corporal Kate waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Hi blipey!

Our inbox trembles in anticipation..


Kate and Naked Sleeping Beauty


On 10/10/2006 11:59:00 AM, Anonymous ConcernedEngineer waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

"It's a fairly common strategy amongst the fundies, and it's almost universal that they either cannot or will not see the circularity."

However, in my case, I openly admitted that it was a circular argument!

You clearly either intentionally or unintentionally took bits and pieces of my comments out of context. You clearly don't recognize the difference between the kind of "judging" that Jesus talked about in Matthew 7 and the the judgment/discernment that we are commanded to exercise throughout Scripture.


On 10/10/2006 12:02:00 PM, Blogger JanieBelle waxed damned near poetic whilst opining...

Blah, blah, blah.

You're just mad that Kristine banned you.

And you're a dickhead for making her cry.

That gets you banned here.

Buh Bye.


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